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dad and son
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Mar 10, 2012 6:57 pm
114 Views
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A Young Boy Asks His Dad.
Boy: “What Is The Difference Between Confident And Confidential?”
Dad Smiled And Says: “You Are My Son, I’m Confident About That. Your Friend Over There, Is Also My Son, That’s Confidential!“
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Office Party
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Feb 23, 2012 4:28 am
218 Views
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John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.
After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.
“Louise,” he moaned, “tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?”
“Even worse,” she said, her voice oozing scorn. “You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonising the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.”
“He’s an asshole,” John said. “Piss on him.”
“You did,” came the reply. “And he fired you.”
“Well, screw him!” said John.
“I did. You’re back at work on Monday.”
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cock sizes
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Dec 2, 2011 6:21 pm
299 Views
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An online site that lists the global penis sizes has become an Internet sensation, with Congo being placed at the top of the list. The Dem. Rep. Congo has taken top spot, with the average size being 7.1 inches or 18cm (self-reported). Second on the list is Ecuador where the average size is 6.9 inches or 17.5cm (measured), and Ghana is at number four with the average size of 6.8 inches or 17.3cm (self-reported).
At number five is Colombia, where the average size is 6.7 inches or 17cm (measured), and number at six is Venezuela, where the average size is 6.7 inches or 17cm (measured).
At number 7 is Lebanon, followed by Jamaica at number 12, Brazil at number 15, France at number 17, Czech Republic at number 22, the Netherlands at number 27, Italy at number 31.
Egypt was placed at number 33, Denmark at number 42, Mexico at number 49, Morocco at number 51, Sweden at number 58, Greece at number 61, Chili at number 64, Germany at number 68, Norway at number 72.
United Kingdom was at number 82, Spain at number 85, Australia at number 94, USA at number 98, Ireland at number 99, Romania at number 101, Indonesia at number 104, Malaysia at number 106.
Last but not the least, India at number 116, Japan at number 110, China at number 112, Thailand at number 117, and South Korea at number 119.
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SEX ADVICE FOR U< NEED COMMENTS OF YOURS TOO
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Nov 27, 2011 6:23 pm
337 Views
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Question. Can girls practise the start-and-stop method of masturbation? Please advise if and how it can be done.
Answer. Since girls do not suffer from premature ejaculation they do not have to. There are a few who reach orgasms fast. But since they can get many more orgasms in quick succession, they need not worry.
Question. I am a 31-year-old married woman. During intercourse my husband feels that my vagina is lubricated too much. I don’t know how I can stop this. Please help.
Answer. The natural lubrication which occurs with sexual excitement sometimes may be in excess. Wipe it off with a tissue now and again during intercourse. Also, ask him whether he is has excess precum.
Question. I am a 20-year-old girl and my partner is 23. After talking for a few weeks and meeting twice, we had sex for the first time. Although it lasted for around 25 seconds, we enjoyed the physical intimacy. However, the next morning, I began bleeding because my period was due. Is there any chance that I have lost my virginity? He said he has had sex before and that it can cause no problem. He also told me I am still a virgin but I am very confused. Please help.
Answer. If he has entered your vagina, you are no longer a virgin. And since you had your period, you cannot be pregnant. Please insist that he wears a condom if you wish to permit intercourse.
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Man asking farmers wife about sex
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Nov 26, 2011 6:59 pm
344 Views
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A man walks up to a farmers house, and knocks at the door. When a woman answers, the man asks if she knows how to have sex, not amused, she slams the door again the man knocks, and again asks the same question, still not amused the woman, yells go away.
Later she tells her husband about the guy. The husband offers to stay home the next day, in case the man returns. The husband hides with his gun. And sure enough the man returns, and knocks at the door, Man. "Do you know how to have sex." Farmers wife, "Yes" man, "great, give some to your husband, next time you see him, and tell him to stay away from my wife."
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Chinese Sex Therapist
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Nov 12, 2011 7:05 am
336 Views
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A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date, nor any sex in quite sometime.
She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist.
Her MD recommended that she go see Dr. Chang, the well-known sex therapist. So, she went to see him.
Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, “OK, you take off all your crose.”
“Now, get down and clawl reery fass to the odder side of room.”
So, she did… Dr. Chang then said, “OK now clawl reery fass to me,” so she did.
Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said, “Your probrem vewy bad, you haf Zachary Disease, worse case I ever see, dat why you not haf sex or dates.”
Confused, the woman asked, “What is Zachary Disease?”
Dr. Chang replied, “It when your face rook Zachary rike your ass.”
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Romantic Date
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Oct 30, 2011 2:45 am
361 Views
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Romantic Date
Hi I am from a village near Asansol and this is my first story hope you like it and excuse me for any mistakes please send your comments. Thanks for Adult FriendFinder team for getting this published, I am 5.7 and fair slim recently came to hyd for my job posting and stating at boys hostel in Ameerpet and hellip, this is the most crowded area with girls most of the time I fantasized but could not get courage to any girl for my self and felt bad when my room mates went for date at their girlfriends houses ah that was really pain full.
Later the day of my joining came I went for the final round with the HR and it was supposed to be discussion on my salary part and etc, this went on for few min and I was told to wait in the lobby so I did. After about 30 min I was called and given the appointment letter and with a handsome salary which I didn’t expect any way I was thank full to god and left from their later in the eve when I wanted to share this with my mates but to my surprise
They were busy to get ready and go for date with their some one I don’t know. I felt very bad and just came out of hostel and went for the near by bar. I usually drink only beer that too only one and to be frank that was too much for me but with frustration I had about nearly 2 and half and was in very bad condition to walk what to do it was first time to have that much but still my senses were working.
Slowly I made my steps till out of the bar and started walking on the road for my surprise my friend came on bike seeing me stopped and picked me took me to the hostel and helped me well. Next morning when I woke up I was with surprise that I lost my wallet and was very upset it just had a little cash but the important things like pan card driving license etc were there still making my mind I went to office and started doing my work with training of my team lead.
Later noon I got call from a girl who said she found my wallet which had all details including my no so she was able to call me. I thanked her and said I would meet her eve she agreed and we met at maitrivanam it, local famous place and when I met her oh god she was one of the best and with all killing figures she was making my eyes mad with my mouth speech less.
With courage I took her contact no and we started chatting and hellip, friends to make it short iam going for the final step and hellip after all days passed with chat and all like sending forwarded msg we started meeting and one fine morning she invited me to her house I was surprised and as you all were thinking I too thought I could do some hanky panky but as soon as I entered I was shocked to see guess what!
Are yaar its her birthday party all her friends were then I said oh then ah then fine its ok we normally spoke for some time and after the party I said I am leaving she said me to wait again bells rang in my heart and she said just she wanted me to introduce to some one special that means her would be aaaaah oh ok fine nice to meet you bla blah blah next morning I woke up took my mobile went our for a smoke
I saw the sms call urgent it was Pallavi and upon calling she said I need to talk urgently come home I didn’t expect anything more I just went in and said hi she came with a beer and said I hope you won’t drink and who the hell won’t drink she asked me if I would have whisky of her dad but I honestly said I only have beer and we both took two small beers and sat on the roof top of her house and were talking.
Now I thought its waste of time to play around and I touched her lips with my index finger and said really they are lovely and juice and and went to was room seeing your boobs, I am sorry if you feel this wrong I said and she was quite for a moment and smiled a little and said I know you masturbated thinking of me when she was talking to me in the night and hellip, I could not say a word.
Next she said me to walk down and while she was walking she turned around to close the door or the entry for roof at that time her face was in front of me I could feel and sense her hot breath and the bulge of her chest while she is breathing I gave no chance and kissed her on lips she moved back and ran down I followed her to the kitchen as there was no one at her home we started playing.
She opened refrigerator door for water I grabbed from back and my hand was on her stomach trying to play with her belly button and was kissing her neck and shoulder she was moving her head up and down and she dint stop me. Later I moved and cupped her lovely boobs making circles around them. I turned her towards me and took her face in both my hands and kissed her lower lip, then
I took her upper lip and started sucking it mean while she started responding and she sucked my lower lip it was heaven and it went on till about 10 min I opened her hair we both moved. I didn’t want to waste any time I laid her on floor and started kissing frm her belly button raised her t-shirt a little and she could not control it she holded my face and took it up she kissed me madly and she was going mad in the romantic feel while
I played my hand on her stomach which was making her more aroused now I could not resist and was madly waiting to see those pair of boobs and dragged her top off and could see pink flower lined bra with some transparent lining. I started cupping them and took out the right boob out and played with my tongue on the circle around the nipple making it wet I pulled her nipple up with my lips mean while
I was cupping smoothly the other one and now I turned her around and kissing her stomach and trunk line I unhooked her bra and kissed all her back madly by keeping both my hands on her boobs turning her back on my chest she removed my shirt she undid her jeans too while i did mine now we were only in our down one piece of clothes and she on top of me started kissing my hairy chest and tried to suck
My chest and I could not resist as her boobs were moving up and down on my stomach which made me mad and now I went on top of her started sucking the boobs a little hard she pressed my head on her boob very hard which made me suck them more hard and press and circle the other one harder she took her hand to my shaft and tried to get it out which I didn’t allow
She was in heaven and mourning were on top of her with pleasure she threw me back and got on top of me held my hand firmly I allowed her for my pleasure she went down and started to move her hand up and down and she was like going to eat it. She now went down and making circles on my dick top I was now mourning with pleasure and tried to stop but she didn’t she took off her panty which was badly wet and took me on top of her.
I went down slowly made the pussy clean with my hand and and started to move her pussy pink lips apart and slowly inserted my first finger and tapped it on top and bottom she hold my hand very tight and she was eating my lip very badly (kind of kiss) now I inserted little deep and was making her bad but I saw tears in her eyes by which I stopped and asked her of she is ok she got up and hugged me tightly and
I said it’s her first time and blood is out and it’s paining badly I took her to bathroom and cleaned her pussy and asked her if I could continue or stop she got angry and said me fuck me or Iwill not let you go. I obeyed her and now I inserted my two fingers and played which got more blood out and after few minute I washed her and took her to bed room there I took few ice cubes and I started rubbing her pussy she could not control it she demand me to fuck her but still
I went down I started to take her left pussy lip and kissed it madly them the right and played there with my tongue now she started using mad words please fuck me then I took out my dick and slowly made and played around her pussy lips by pressing her boobs real hard and slowly inserted inside( I had to care her pain though she wanted it badly inside but its her first time so took care of not hurting her bad) and made in and out tears rolled in her eyes but still she wanted it badly.
I turned her back and played with my dick on her ass cheeks and tried to insert from back but it was real pain for her she was crying out loud still she was needing it and we tried making sex like making her one leg up and tried to fuck her and fucking her from back and hellip, though I was desperate to fuck but with the concern of her pain I had to stop finally I took her in my arms kissed her face with out leaving an inches and I told not not this time as its gonna pain a lot because of the size of my dick she tried to say no but I promised to fuck her again and
I really hugged her tightly made her secure and made her sleep on my chest and played with her hair to make her comfortable and all this mean my dick stood high missing her pussy she played with hand and finally I could not compromise and told her to lick it she did it for my happiness and I unloaded the load in her mouth which made me real happy I asked her why she tried to make love with me as she is going to get married she said no one guaranteed that her hubby is coming virgin and she wanted to loose her virginity to whom she understood well and made her happy not just for sex but for true and loving romance.
She said sorry to me for not satisfying me I consoled her telling real happiness is not in sex its in making love and when that is done it should be from both ends she was very happy and after that we had sex in all angles nearly about 3 to 4 times friends don’t forget your comments at my email and also best compliments to all write in your comments at liketolicku80 at ya h o o d t cm
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Sex With Neha In Jaipur Hotel
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Oct 29, 2011 1:54 am
387 Views
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Hot Sex With Neha In Jaipur Hotel
Hello frnd. I am Aakash. I am in Delhi for quite some time. I am 27. 6ft. Avg built with boy next door features. Let’s start with the story.
Last month, my company sent me to jaipur on a job assignment for one month. I came to jaipur without any expectations as I knew that these small towns can never give the excitement and fun of Metro cities. My stay was arranged in posh hotel near railway station (can’t tell the name). Initial 3-4 days were very boring but it all changed on first Friday. There was a small party on the client site where I met Neha. A common friend introduced us to each other. She was damn hot man…. Dusky but sharp features, 34-24-34, Capri type jeans and one shoulder top. I get hard on then and there but somehow controlled. She was also impressed by my guitar playing skills. After party, to my surprise she was there in the cab with me for the usual drop. We exchanged numbers but the real surprise was still pending. When my hotel came, she also took her bag and started moving towards hotel. I was shocked. She noticed and told me that she checked in last night and will stay for one more month as this hotel works like a company guest house. I started dreaming of fucking there but it was too early to do anything. We went to our respective rooms and planned to meet at dinner.
During dinner, we had normal talk but there was some spark in the air. She had bath before dinner and that fragnence was killing me. After dinner, we went for a small walk as I had this urge to have a smoke and she happily gave me the company. I asked that would she like to have a drink. She said no but got ready to have a beer instead. We went to my room. I had a small peg of vodka and gave her a can of fosters. I knew it gonna cost me 200 bucks but with that hot chik on my bed I was ready to spend 20000.
While having beer she started to check my music collection on my laptop. I asked her to be cautious as there is some adult stuff on the laptop which may disturb her. She said its ok as it is common these days. By the time, it turned midnight, I finished half vodka and she was down with 4 fosters. Then alcohol started its magic and she asked me if she can watch some porn. I was more than happy to give my approval. I played my favorite movie in which in Indian couple make love in a hotel room. U all might have seen that stuff. She got more aroused by this and started feeling herself. I also removed my shirt and was in just a boxer with my cock almost giving a salute to her. She smiled at me and gave me some compliments.
I still don’t remember that who started it but after few mins, we found over selves kissing each other passionately. Soon after, I was playing with her 34D boobs. They were perfect for my big hands. I was kissing each part of her, face, neck and all the visible part of her flesh from her top and she was responding well beyond expectations. Without even asking, she removed her top and put my hand on her red bikini type bra. I felt as if my cock will tear the jockey to come out. So, I removed my boxer and jockey. She felt shy and stunned at this. I asked her to hold my dick but she refused. I begged a little and she agreed hesitantly. Oh my god, oh my god… those little hands worked magic and I got crazy. I almost tore her bra to reveal those juicy milky boobs with sharped bright red colored nipples. All other nipples that I saw till date were in no comparison to this. They were flawless. I hit on the left boob… kissing, biting, licking and with my right hand I was playing with her right boob. Her breathless voice now turned to moans and very slowly she whispered in my ear that she loves it but would love more if I switch off the lights.
I came to my senses as I had no idea if lights are on or not. I switched off the lights except the one in washroom. Very dim light was coming out of it making the atmosphere more romantic. After this short break, we continued and started exploring more of each other. I started playing with her navel and thighs and she was playing with my face and hair. Slowly, I removed her Capri and there she was lying on my bed in just a throng type skin color panty. Before that night, I saw such panties only on fashion TV. It was just a thread covering her waist and ass with a small piece of cloth to hide the gateway to heaven. When I said that I liked this, she blushed and hid her pussy with her hands. I licked her hands and with some force, managed to remove that smallest piece (panty) from that diva like beauty. It was a night of surprises and this was one of that. It was a freshly shaved pussy. She told me that she shaved it last night as it was getting really messy.
I said thanks and made a kiss on those pink pussy lips. She almost jumped of bed by this. I started licking her pussy and whenever I bite a bit she pinched her long nails in my back. This aroused me more and I asked her to suck my cock. She said no straight away and said it only looks good in movies and she is not going to do it. I was disappointed but thought that I will manage that some other time and continued licking her pussy. She started moaning heavily and after about 10-15 mins, her body started getting stiff. She pressed my mouth on her pussy, wrapped her legs around my head and had her first orgasm of that night. I drank all that and then kissed her. She got taste of her own juice and was exploring my mouth with her tongue. I teased her saying if u like that juice so much then try mine. It’s more dense and u would love that. She ignored that started giving handjob to me.
I asked her to stop or I would also discharge and I m not willing to discharge by handjob as this is what I anyways do every night. She asked then what else I want. I said that obviously I want to make love to u. She said no as she is not willing to loose her virginity. This was KLPD. I removed her hand from my dick, made a large peg and started taking sips from it while sitting on the sofa. She felt bad about this and sit next to me and held my dick in her hand. I again removed her hand and asked her to stay away calling her a selfish bitch that enjoyed her part and now making excuses. She took the peg and drank all in one go.
Then she forcefully started kissing me, sat on me with her legs on both side of me and my cock touching her pussy in excitement. After few minutes, she went down and made a kiss on my dick. It was hot like a rod and with a little shyness she opened her lips and placed it on the top of my dick. Then, slowly slowly she had half the cock in her mouth. I pushed her head and in no time the entire length was in her mouth. She started taking in and out of her mouth. It was all wet and was making ‘slup’ ‘slup’ ‘slup’ noises in the room.
After few minutes, I threw her on the bed and again started kissing and licking her entire body. Then she said k do whatever u want to do, I m all yours. I put a durex on my cock and placed it near the entrance. She said not to tease her more and enter with full force. I said it will pain a little so hold ur cry. She said not to worry. I made a gentle kiss on her boobs and then pushed a little. She cried but I put my right hand on her mouth and pushed a little more. Half of my dick was inside her and she was trying to escape the rest saying she can’t bear it, plz remove it, plz remove it. I ignored that plea and made a final push and the entire length was inside. Tears rolled down from her eyes and she was breathless. I stopped for a moment and started to in-out. Her cries turned to moans and she was moaning…. Oh aakaaaash…. Harder…. Aahhhhhh… aahhhhhhhhh…… oh god……………… slowly……… yes…….yes..yes..yes… oh m coming……… oh no… oh no………aakaaaaaaashhhhhhhhhhh………..love you….. lov uuuuuuuuuu……… ah. Ah. Ah…….. ah ah ah ah ……. Hhhhhhhh…. Oh yes… oh yes….. come on…. Yes yes yes…. M coming…. M coming…. Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….
With this she came so hard that there was a big wet patch on the bed sheet. But who cares…. I was wet with my sweet and to my surprise it was taking longer than usual….I was also moaning and was about to come. I asked her that where she want me to come. She said wherever u want, u can … no issues, just discharge it as her body can’t tolerate more thrust. I said I want to come in her mouth. She immediately opened her mouth in affirmation. I removed the condom and put it in her mouth. She started sucking the shaft and playing with the balls. With a whispering cry, I also came and this was the best discharged I had till date. It filled his mouth and when she stood to go to washroom, I held his neck forcing her to drink it all. Having no other option, she drank it all and maybe she liked the taste bcoz then she cleaned the cock without even asking for it. After that we had a hot bath but had no power in our bodies to have another session. So we slept on the single bed. Anyways, a single bed is more than enough for a crazy boy and girl like us. So, frnd …. How was the story. Do reply me at liketolicku80 onya ho o ma il . Will wait for ur mails…..
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meri baate
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Oct 28, 2011 10:08 am
358 Views
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Khulam khula hum tera balatkar karenge
Teri izzat ko sub ke saamne tar tar karenge
Tail laga ke pehle tujko tayar karenge
Phir unglian de ke tujko beqarar krenge
Lund pe apne tujko sawar karenge
Phir apne lund ko tere aar par karenge
Kabi andar kabi bahar kar ke mazedar karenge
Ye kaam hum her itwar karenge
Chod chod ke tujko maldar karenge
Jab paisay na huay toh udhar karenge
Agar bura laga tujhko toh kabhi kabaar karenge
Agar teri aadat bun gaee toh bar bar karenge
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A salesman
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Oct 26, 2011 7:33 pm
375 Views
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The Salesman
A salesman in a strange city was feeling horny and wanted release. He inquired for the address of a good house of ill repute. He was told to go to 365 East West Street.
By mistake, he went to 365 WEST East Street, the office of a podiatrist. Being met by a beautiful woman in a white uniform surprised but intrigued him.
She directed him to an examining room and told him to uncover and someone would be with him soon.
He loved the thought of the table and the reclining chair and was really getting aroused because of the strange and different approach this house offered.
Finally the doctor’s assistant, a really gorgeous redhead entered and found him sitting in the chair with his generous member in his hand.
“My goodness”, she exclaimed, “I was expecting to see a foot.”
“Well,” he said, “if you’re going to complain about an inch then I’ll take my business elsewhere.”
liketolicku80atyahu
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To link to this blog (9932863350) use [blog 9932863350] in your messages.
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