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Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
What Does FWB (Really) Mean?
Posted:Jul 15, 2018 11:12 am
Last Updated:Oct 23, 2018 4:57 pm
3018 Views

Many people seem to misinterpret the meaning of FWB. I believe that term can mean many things depending upon who is using the term. For some, it means very little other than to push the friend button and have someone accept it. Similar to "friending" someone on Facebook. To others it means that a mutual relationship is formed by getting to know someone a little bit first before having sex. With this definition there might be further contact...although on a sporadic and limited basis. Finally, many define "friend" as someone they do see on a regular basis...like real friends do. The reason for getting together...they truly do like each other in and out of the bedroom.

Communication is key in order to define the expectations upfront and prevent misunderstandings that can lead to hurt, frustration and anger. When things aren't clearly spelled out in the beginning or even after a few meetings, the relationship can feel dishonest. In some cases, there really was no intent to deceive or lie...the expectations were just never communicated. In other cases, there is downright deceit upfront as lies disguise true intent.
On AdultFriendFinder, or any other dating site it is important to find out what the other person is expecting...get to know the person and keep your guard up while at the same time being positive without making assumptions. During initial e-mail conversations ask good questions that are open ended and require more than just a "yes-no" answer. Questions like...what are your expectations on AdultFriendFinder? What does the word "friend" mean to you, or what are some of your interests? Questions like…Tell me something about yourself...where you are from, what kind of work or activities do you like, are good to get the ball rolling and learn more. If you only get short answers to your message when asking these questions keep asking until you are satisfied. For example, have you ever asked these types of questions only to get back a one word response? Or something like, “thanks for your message…how are you?” Politely answer back to their question, but then let them know it’s important to know a little bit more about them and refer them back to your initial questions. If someone responds by letting you know that it is easier to talk off line through personal e-mails take caution. My recommendation (and AdultFriendFinder’s) is not to give out your e-mail until you are comfortable through some initial AdultFriendFinder messaging. If you really want to feel comfortable let it be known that you will not be engaging in any bedroom activities until you have at least met one time and gotten to know the person…make it crystal clear that there are no exceptions.

When meeting in person you can gather even richer information by asking multiple follow-up (open ended) questions and reading body language. After some initial small talk when you first meet…share something about yourself and then ask about them. Be observant during the conversation…are they looking at you when they talk...fidgeting...listening and asking you questions that demonstrate engagement in the conversation? Trust your intuition, and by all means, if you hear conflicting answers to your questions that should raise a red flag. In this case, politely point out your confusion and have them clarify what they really meant. This meeting should not be like an interrogation, but it is extremely important to come in with some prepared questions. Remember to have fun and be yourself…have fun while at the same time getting some answers to find out if this is the right kind of “friend” relationship you are seeking. After all, you wouldn’t go into a job interview without knowing something about the organization…or the organization knowing something more about you! You both want your friend experience to be the right fit. If not…then enjoy your conversation and politely move on.

Lastly, avoid narcissists at all costs. How to know? Are they doing all the talking...mostly aggrandizing about themselves? Do they lack empathy if you tell them something personal? Do they even attempt to sincerely ask you questions about yourself? Does their body language communicate so LOUD that their words are meaningless? This is a larger topic deserving more attention than what is said here...but extremely important if you are seeking some kind of mutually satisfying friend relationship.

The bottom line? Doing a better job of communicating up front and in person greatly increases your chances of a mutually agreeable and satisfying relationship…however you both define what the word “friend” really means.

Greg (Life and Relationship Coach)
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What Does FWB (Really) Mean? (4)Heathen_G
Jul 16, 2018 12:00 pm