Private Box!
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Dec 31, 2008 2:29 pm
11848 Views
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GOT this IDEA from others' blogs!! SO... If you wanna drop me a message at your convenience, HERE would be it!! NOTHING would show up and nothing would be made PUBLIC so ONLY I can READ IT!!! 
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7
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, 14 Pending
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BE MY GUEST!
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Nov 18, 2008 1:58 am
12636 Views
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Hey, this is a GUEST BOOK... So I guess this is pretty much about it...? Title says it all.... A place for my guest to drop words... Because sometimes I wonder what kinda people actually looked or peeped at my blog in here and what kinda people they are....?
So drop a few words and let me know ya exist....?
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37
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Day in, day out....
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May 13, 2012 3:37 pm
46 Views
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Deprived. Not of sex but more of sleep... Not a wink again... Except that this time round it's not on a Saturday... It's on a Sunday night and I'm off for a very long, tiring and busy Monday.. Not to mention that my colleague is on leave? Definitely adding salt to that wound....
I've got a feeling I would be having headaches today... I'll be feeling giddy. I'll be forgetful and slow.
Not sleeping enough is definitely not a healthy thing...
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Tick.
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May 13, 2012 10:25 am
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1am exact.
I don't like it, my laptop is lagging and hanging like nobody's business these days....
Tick, tock, tick.
I see lots of fuses running, all connected. Falling short of time. Tomorrow's gonna be another busy day. Burnt. No time. It's coming... After that we shall see again... So many fuses, each of its own... So many... Growing... Growing.... Hate it or love it? Life's a whole bunch of mess anyway...
Which hole should I go into? Which move should I be making...? Why do I have this sinking feeling that I'm stupid and making the same mistakes over and over again....?
I think I'm turning into a machine.... Used to be a sex machine, now I think I could very well turn into a running machine...? What has gotten over me....? What would I allow through...? Life... Can be so unpredictable....
Maybe I really need this 'break'....? Yet I don't really know what am I expecting......
Should I go into the 'day & night' mode...? Should I divert my 'investment'.....? Would I regret either way.....?
Why can't I just break my chains...? Loose everything...
And be.....?
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Sex. No?
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May 13, 2012 2:28 am
72 Views
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I seems to be losing my 'mojo' these days... While so many other men are often thinking about sex and how to get it, I've been spending so much time thinking about other things like work, how to get more money, how to save on money, runs, sports and games... Perhaps unlike before, 'needs' are often more quickly 'settled' these days... Like I can still remember how I used to hold back my needs for so long....
So I admit I've been a bad boy.... Spending money this and that way again though I know very well I shouldn't.... Sorry, but I can't control it. Life sucks, so give me the break and credits I deserve... Okay? Been thinking of getting another tattoo or two.... In fact, I've actually recently sourced and found a candidate which I thought might be a good person for the job....? The other two tattoos that I'd always wanted, but might working on some minor changes on one of them... Then again, there is this financial issue.... Honestly speaking, I think I fucking need the pain... Miss it.... Need it to kick some life back into my soul and body again....? Need them to feel 'complete' perhaps...? Somehow I would liken the pain to people who slash their own wrist not to kill themselves but just to induce some 'feelings' within themselves....? But of course, I'm a professional. I can't do that.
I remember how she told me a family with strong bond is an important component in life... Exactly what I'm missing. Not that I truly believe in it or even look forward to that? But I totally agree, I need to look at myself and my life, and re-structure it again.... Reconstruct myself.
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FOLD.
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May 12, 2012 10:03 am
83 Views
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Almost forgot to watch my TV programme today...
Thinking about her again... No. Not sex. No, not even her looks... But what she has said. Of the things she have said and suggested, similar which I have been telling myself....
She said I need to sit down and re-think on everything... Think my way through... Indeed... Been so busy... I wonder when was the last time I actually been thinking...
She suggested that I should quit my job under such consequence. I agree. Too many people I'd met and spoke to suggest the same.... Not that simple. Too many financial commitments. Many which doesn't even involve myself alone....
Time to fold up everything and slowly unfold them again....
Work is like a long run... Work is like a long run now. Trying to keep my breath and cool. Getting into the rhythm and stamina, the initial is always that painful.... And I am that CRAZY. Trying to get into more 'runs'.... She 're-mixed' my thought... Makes me wonder what do I really want..... What am I really after.....
The storm is coming....
I think there should be no guns tonight. It should be a good night to sleep if the rain really comes... The games are flashing on my mind... But I don't think I would... I know I shouldn't....
Too many thoughts slipping my mind...
The site is boring me....?
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The Happy Person....
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May 12, 2012 2:07 am
87 Views
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Met a long lost friend today.... Thought she is still as beautiful as ever.... We got to chat for a while and she started to give me advices.... About how unhappy I am currently and why do I still insist (allowing it to be) on letting things happen even when they obviously upset me.... About how wrong my mentality is....
When she started to talk serious and such, I realized that she really ain't as beautiful as I thought she is... When we were done, she started smiling again and looked beautiful again....
So what am I really missing in my life...?? She commented that my life has no meaning... And if I'm unhappy living in it, then why am I still living it....??  She says she is all grateful for all the things she have... No matter how simple or small...
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Press my buttons....
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May 10, 2012 11:54 am
112 Views
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WIDE AWAKE. This can't be good....
Tonight, there ain't guns. No sound of bullets flying...
I wish there is an 'EXIT' button. A button which I can press, and escape from this world... At least for a little.... At least for a while...?
I WISH there is a SLEEP button. ONE which is for the OBVIOUS...
I WISH there is a SEX button. So that I can have it as and when I want it.....
I wish I can just sit there and press buttons... And everything would just go as I wish...
Heck. What am I thinking...?? Tomorrow's Friday already... But WAIT. I'm still WORKING this SAT... This is CRAP.... 
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Where I belong, where do I go.....
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May 9, 2012 10:57 pm
154 Views
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On this bus. I have always thought from time to time that some buses take too long to travel to my destination of interest.... Now I have this impulse to take this bus on a very long journey ride... Forth and back again... Just like the good old school days where the distance you travel on a concession pass doesn't make any difference....
Finally. On MC today. I have been sick for a while and my boss discourages me from taking MC... Not that I really care a shit about my boss who doesn't care a shit about me. But I am stubborn. I like to challenge myself to the limits and even the 'impossibles'.... I've got this belief. If you never try, how do you know it'll never work or you can't do it....? Yes, that's me... Even MC these days have to be carefully 'planned', only allowed on certain days.... How pathetic?
My doctor gave me 2 very good pieces of advices today... The two which I've been trying to pursue.... 1. Give yourself less stress. 2. Give yourself more rest... I really wish to run today, but I guess I can't be joining the others... Wonder if I should be running on my own.....? Come to think of it, I've never really given myself enough rest even when I'm sick...
Still thinking of the other 2 things someone else told me.... When you don't live out your beliefs in life, you ain't who you are.... If you ain't who you are, then you can't possibly have a meaningful life..... (A 'fulfilling' one, maybe yes...? But not a meaningful one.....)
Suddenly feels like going for a bit of window shopping.....?
Sex is great when you have someone who wants you that much.... Needs you that much..... And you equally desires the other party.... It's nice and coming to think of it, not that perverse to think about the possibilities with people you see, meet and like so long as you don't be so explicit in your thinkings and insistent on your thoughts.... Such thoughts can really be nice just as passing clouds....
Slowly understanding what my work and projection is all about.... Then again, this is just their own thoughts.....? Now that I've got a 'mind of my own', I'm going to slowly works towards it..... 
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No sleep. No time.
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May 6, 2012 4:33 pm
230 Views
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Not even sleeping as usual on this bus...
The bus I was taking earlier (for transfer) was really going at a snail's speed... Luckily I ain't taking that bus for my long journey or I'll bound to be late....
The night before yesterday. I didn't sleep. I didnt go exactly anywhere. Instead, I was just gaming online and surfing net through... Came morning, I was awake as hell. I didn't sleep a bit. I was on for breakfast, then headed for a movie... At the movie, the drowsiness was kicking in.... It's a good thing that the movie was really interesting enough but I managed to overcome that and stay pretty much very awake after a while.... Then was hanging out a while before an early dinner... Headed home and decided to sleep very early. A short while and godma called on the phone. She was saying she wanted to visit my mum and asked if I want to join her (I stay pretty close to godma). I was like somewhere lost in the midst of dreamland.... I remember I have some things to discuss with both my mum and godma and thought this would be a good opportunity.... But I rejected her very quickly and went back to sleep. Woke up like in the middle of the night and had a bit of bite. Did a bit of things and went back to bed again...
I just realized I have not been thinking of quitting my job all these while like I used to... But of course, that is still very much part of my plan.... Instead, I suppose I'm still waiting for a disappointing appraisal result to come back and reinforce what I need to do... To tell you honestly, a very good appraisal result is just the minimum for me to even think of 'negotiation' now..... To think of the lousy boss, lousy management and no good pay is discouraging.... The only bonus is that we have a group of very nice colleagues and working team around..... I suppose I've already learnt to accept things as they are.... Not like just giving up yet, but instead, if you want something, you'll have to go GET IT.....
Really don't feel like work and felt like taking MC today... Still sick and working like hell. Having ulcer, hence I guess I won't be having sex for a while...? Just to be safe....
Seeing people running every morning and feeling them getting better... Sort of envy them, but I can never do the same for now... I have calculated that if I want to do so, it would mean waking up around 4am to run... In the past it was worse... Around 3am....?
I knew this newer bus route is faster for work but never realized it's this short as I was never awake on the bus before... Time for work!
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'Ghosts'
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May 5, 2012 12:23 pm
269 Views
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That hangs out at night.... In groups to party.... Through the night....
'Ghosts' who cams and chat at night... Be themselves as who they really want to be.... Who they really should be.... In the day, 'ghosts' shall never reveal themselves....?
Why ain't you sleeping....?
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Get real..... Take it from me.....?
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May 3, 2012 11:21 am
355 Views
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My new internet connection is suppose to be so much faster... But my laptop is like so freaking slow... It's like really not making much of a difference...?? 
Guess I'm really an 'air-con' man...?? -> Not that I repair air-cons, but rather I still prefer to be under the cover of air-con though I'm cool with a good fan system alone... So I'll rather move into others' room than the living room....??
Life have been tough... So that was what I thought...? But now... Enjoying life with good gamings and sex... Hmm... Sometimes makes me wonder what's real and what's not? Are the virtual worlds' gamings REAL..?? Are good sex real? I mean... How long would they last...? (no, no... Not asking how long would I last....  ) Are work life real...? How about happiness..? People around you..? Money...? Power....? All the little and big things in life...? All the things you care about or you can barely even be bother with...? Do me a favor...?? The next time you ask yourself this type of questions, slap yourself in the face for me....? Yes... Put it under my account... Life is only real in the things you believe to be real... And whatever you believe not to be can't be as real.... In fact, if this proven to be untrue, then everything can either be VERY REAL or TOTALLY UNREAL... THINK ABOUT IT...??
Body is aching like freak and if I bend my legs in certain ways, they'll get the cramps...  All thanks to the way I was working out today... I think I'm sort of 'crazy' already...?? Ok, maybe not that serious....? Gosh, now even my neck is hurting.... I feel like such an old man...
Did I mentioned sex is good...?? Yes... It's REALLY GOOD and have been getting BETTER.... Sometimes the strange thing about that is EXPECTATION people might have of you.. Like they tends to harbour this mentality that you just keeps getting better each time... Well... This is a dangerous assumption and would be most unlikely to be continously fulfilled on the long run... Do I feel the pressure from there....?? Mmm.... Not really....?? By the way, I think I've just broke my 'magic of 3'! That is often by the 3rd time I have sex with someone, the 'magic' just seems to slowly drop off from there and they would no longer be so 'amazed' by me anymore.... But having such a compatible partner just seems to change such 'myths'....??  What's real... What's not....? Hmm...
I hate it when people force me to do the things I do not like to do and make me be what I do not like to be... In fact, I think it's quite impossible to do that to me... It's like I'm grown 'immunized' to it.... Somehow some ways, people just change and try to breach their ways through... And that definitely includes me! And I can really NOT CARE A DAMN!
These days... I seems to like casual chats more than sexual ones.... Perhaps it's because I'm already VERY 'SEXTISFIED'...??
Work... As my objectives become clearer to myself and with me staying focused on them, things seem to be really getting so much better...? Oh... Not to mention my slowly 'letting go'.... My slow 'bochapness' taking over me.... Seriously, I've thought it through... Why should I really be so bothered when everybody else aare so relaxing....? And I'm not being appreciated for the so much more efforts I put it.... Ya... SERIOUSLY. THANKS FOR THE SHIT MAN! FINALLY WAKES ME UP!!!
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Kill you.
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Apr 30, 2012 8:23 pm
417 Views
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I hate life. The bad things seems to repeat itself... No matter how I try to give in to people, they just keep taking and asking for more... Making my life miserable... They can't be contented. Cannot be satisfied. I want to be an evil of my own....
There was no iPad yesterday. Left it at home. Totally not used to it. To make things worse, my iPhone was too low on battery.... But not too much a bother it seems, as I've only wanted to blog now....
Though I'm not exactly poor now, but sometimes I can feel like a beggar... I guess I'd brushed those encounters too many times... I need and want money.... Somehow it is starting to change me... Like.... I don't want to be there again....
Irony and life is a joke. I had saved countless lives over years and now I can't seems to be effectively saving my own..... That though I've always known myself as a creative person who always come up with the solutions, I cannot even kill myself.... Not that I'm even thinking... I know it's the wrong thing to do, and thinking is the 1st step towards it.... Usually after it'll be hard to return.... Often only the difference between tiny steps forward or big steps through.... Lies. Effectively, thoughts are already circling on my mind...
The only way I can survive all these and make myself feel a bit 'better' it seems is to make myself feel like an ant..... Someone too insignificant.... Without meaning... To be stepped on for now.... Slowly life seems to be losing its meanings or they seems to be drifting too far away....
Watched Avengers yesterday. It's not a bad show. I can't help but keep thinking about the green hulk... Somehow I can empathize with him... Especially when he said "I'm always angry." Somehow I suddenly remember feeling the same way... Just that I'm not showing it. Just that I'm not 'green'....?
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To link to this blog (DevilCharmZ) use [blog DevilCharmZ] in your messages.
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